


Who We Are (Not Who We're Meant to Be)

by Shhhmouse



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 12:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shhhmouse/pseuds/Shhhmouse
Summary: SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAMEThere is no universe in which Bucky and Steve do not end up together. There just isn't.





	Who We Are (Not Who We're Meant to Be)

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I'm not really a writer and I'm not sure I'd even call this a fic. It's sort of just a short series of disjointed scenes to explain how Bucky and Steve could still have ended up together in a post-Avengers:Endgame canon-compliant universe. I've had it clunking around in my head since the credits started rolling on the film and I though it might be nice to share.

**The Past**

1970.

Steve stares at Peggy through her own office window.

She is everything he remembers. Brave and kind and strong and smart and beautiful and he loves her fiercely. He really does. She is everything he is supposed to want. She could have helped him be the man he was supposed to be.

Steve stares at her the same way he often stares at her face in his pocket compass and is so angry at himself he could cry.

He didn't even notice until right now that he has let that face become a symbol. An idea. A place to pin all of his longing and his loneliness and the desperate, aching sadness he couldn't explain any other way. 'The love of my life' he told himself, right up until fate, time and Tony fucking Stark conspired to call his bluff.

Steve stares at Peggy through her own office window and feels the lie come off like a band-aid. He doesn't cry, but it's a close thing.

 

**The Battle**

Steve can't explain it but the second he sees Thor's hammer, metal glinting silent and still in the chaos, he knows.

It's not just that he needs it to work; it isn't desperation or even hope. If anything it feels more like memory.

He can already feel how the handle is going to fit in his hand. Mjolnir hasn't changed but he has, and he knows he can wield her now. Steve is ready to stop being who he's supposed to be and start being who he is.

 

**The Aftermath**

"You really think this will work?"

"Yeah," Steve says, and carefully locks the small padded case that houses a single vial of Pym Particles. "We just need to get this to Shuri and keep it safe."

Bucky snorts. "Keep it safe for the next fifty years, you mean."

"Yes." He sets a hand on Bucky's shoulder, slides it up into his hair because he can do that now. "And we will. I'm highly motivated."

Bucky grins. "Fifty years is a long time, Pal. What makes you think I'm not gonna trade you in for a newer model before then?"

Steve pulls him in close, whispers against his mouth, "to the end of the line, Buck. You promised," and kisses him.

 

**The Future**

_James Buchanan Barnes_  
_1917 - 2068_  
_The end of the line._

"It was a beautiful send off," Shuri says, her voice sandpaper rough.

She puts an aging hand in his and he closes his own wrinkled fingers around hers. "It was. Thank you."

Steve stares up at the cloudless sky and doesn't know what else to say. He can't. He can't do this. 

"Please," he finally croaks out. He knows it's too early. Fifty years was the plan. But he can't live in a world without Bucky.

Shuri nods quietly. "Come on then," she says. Steve is so grateful for her he doesn't know what to do with it.

 

**The Clean-up**

Bucky doesn't like that Steve is going to return the infinity stones by himself, and he fucking hates that Steve's return window-- his _actual_ window, not the one he's about to miss on purpose-- is a full year from now. But Shuri said it has to be done this way and Bucky makes it a point never to argue with Shuri.

He forces himself not to look towards the lake where another Steve, a different, older Steve will be waiting if this dumb plan actually works.

If he's not there, then... no. Bucky forces himself not to go there.

Everything is going to be okay. This plan is dumb, sure, but most of their plans are dumb so what else is new?

This is the only way Steve's getting out for real, for good. Retiring is easy but staying out? Not getting pulled right back into the next big fight? It's either this or they fake Steve's death. And Steve doesn't have it in him to do that to his friends, not after Tony. So.

Everything is going to be okay. They've been repeating it like a mantra and Bucky repeats it in his head now, like a talisman to ward off bad luck.

Steve says everything is going to be okay. And sure, Steve is an optimistic prick but he's also usually right.

 

**The Present**

"How long's it been?" Bucky asks, examining the lines of this future Steve's face with curiosity. "For you, I mean. Since..." he waves a hand in a vague gesture. "All of this."

"Almost forty-nine years."

Bucky let's out a chuckle, shakes his head in disbelief. "I can't fucking believe this worked."

"I told you back then," Steve croaks, and Bucky knows Steve, so he knows that crack in his voice isn't from age. "I was highly motivated."

Bucky nods quietly and they look out over the lake for a moment. He debates asking, decides he doesn't want to know. If future him didn't travel back to this time with Steve then he's dead; doesn't take a genius to figure it, and he doesn't want the details. So he asks instead: "What will you do now?"

Steve shrugs minutely. "I always tried not to find out too much about what this me was up to." He gestures to himself and his eyes crinkle when he smiles. "But you used to visit the new compound a lot, so I always figured either you were having an affair with Sam--"

"Oh, gross, c'mon Stevie." Bucky jostles him, gets a sharp elbow to the ribs for his trouble.

"--or I was doing something there and you'd decided not to abandon me in my old age." He chuckles warmly and Bucky can't resist throwing an arm around his shoulders, drawing him down into a hug.

"To the end of the line, Buddy. I promised."

 

**The Past (Again)**

Peggy listens to Steve's story with the air of someone used to crazy.

"Well," she says when he's done. "That is quite a tale." She gives him a tremulous smile and takes his hand gently in hers. "Thank you for telling it to me, Steve."

Steve nods, unsure of himself suddenly. "I'm sorry I can't stay," he says, squeezing the fingers in his.

She shakes her head, studies the floor for a moment before she stands, tugging on his hand. "No you're not," she says finally. "But that's okay. You still owe me a dance."

He does. And maybe Peggy isn't the love of his life after all but that sure doesn't mean he can't love her.

"It's time for us both to live now, Peg," he says when he kisses her goodbye, and he wants to tell her everything, every bright thing he knows about her future. "You'll always be my best girl," he says instead.

Her smile is the last thing he sees before the quantum tunnel takes him home.

 

**Life**

The lab is quiet and dark when Steve arrives, a full year and a different continent away from the scene he left. Shuri and Bucky are there waiting for him, two of a very small handful of people over the next fifty years who will know who Steve and Bucky really are.

Shuri jokes about running a witness protection program for ex-superheroes and Steve would make some reply but Bucky is kissing him, so.

They have a home now.

They raise goats and grow vegetables and learn how to be people again. Every few months Bucky will disappear to the New Avengers compound for a few days and come back with stories that Steve loves to hear but is happy not to be a part of, at least not yet.

Bucky never mentions it, but Steve suspects he's there, the older version of him. His future. Steve doesn't like to hear too much about himself in this timeline, since he's going to be living it one day and he wants his life and his choices to feel like his own. But it's comforting to know he's okay, and that Bucky really will be there until the end.

But then, Bucky always did keep his promises.

It's a good life, and at the end of every day Steve sends a thank you out into the universe. He likes to think that somewhere, Tony hears it.


End file.
